Say Something

“Say Something” by A Great Big World with Christina Aguilera

 

“You know you want to forgive me.  You know you can, babe.”

He brushed his hand across her cheek, and she could smell the combination of cigarettes and cologne.  She remembered a time when his aroma appealed to her.  Now it just caused her to  wrinkle her nose up to keep from sneezing.

“Forgive me, please,” he begged her.  “Do it for us.”

She raised her eyes to meet his.  She suddenly needed to see him – to get a really good look at this man standing before her now.  Was he the same person she once adored?  Would have followed anywhere?  Would have given up her entire world for?

“I was unhappy with my life.  There were things I needed then that I couldn’t communicate…”

She leaned forward slightly, anxiously hanging on his every word, waiting to hear something – anything – that would set off the signals in her heart that would let her know they would be okay now.  She waited for the warm rush to flow through, making her lightheaded and giddy again, like she was in the days when she felt loved by him.  Just two words would get that for her.  Just two words.

“…and I guess I needed time to experience life and see what was out there for me.  But now, I’m much more grounded and I’ve matured.  I’ve changed, baby.  Please tell me you believe me.  I’m so much better now than I was back then.”

She waited.  But those words she so eagerly anticipated never came.  As she turned and walked towards the door he reached for her one last time.

“Tell me, please.  Tell me what it is you need from me.  What do I have to do to make this right again?” he begged.

“I’m sorry, Sam,” she shook her head before walking out.  “I’m sorry.”

 

 

Stop the World – I’m Sick!

I came down withe the flu this weekend.  Make that “THE FLU”.  In CAPS.  As in, “I was really really really really SICK”.  So sick, I put EVERYTHING ELSE on hold for four entire days.  My job.  My family’s needs.  My writing.  EVERYTHING.

You have to understand that this is not like me.  I am the mom who would cook for her kids and their friends with a temperature of 101 simply because they asked.  I am the daughter who would drive to my parents’ house with a sprained ankle just to get their mail while they were on vacation because I promised them I would.  I am the employee who never calls out sick, and shows up with a box of tissues and cold meds in hand, ready to face the day no matter how awful I feel.

In other words, I don’t allow myself time to recuperate or rest from illnesses or injuries.  I just keep plugging.  Yeah, I’m that kind of idiot.

But this weekend I came down with what I thought was a cold, and it only got worse from there.  By Monday I was headed for Urgent Care.  Tuesday I was still in bed.  It was pretty awful.  And you know what I did?

Absolutely nothing.  It was so unlike me.  And it left everyone around me scratching their heads.  But no one complained.  And no one begrudged me the time I needed to get better.  In fact, a few people mentioned how they were happy to see that I had finally taken the time to rest.  And I do feel better today finally, after hacking up a lung for four days straight.  The time I took off from the world around me allowed me to get back on my feet, but even better than that was what I learned from the experience…

They all survived without me for a few days.  Amazing!  My kids didn’t starve.  They figured out how to fend for themselves for a few days.  They even did their own laundry!  The company I work for didn’t close up and file bankruptcy because I was out of touch for 48 hours.  And my writing?  Well, OK…so I’m a little behind on that now.  But it did give me the opportunity to share this blog.  Hello, Bright Side!

So I guess the world didn’t stop turning just because I did for a few days.  Life goes on. Someone hand me my Nyquil.