A Little Pick Me Up

I’m working on a particularly heart-wrenching scene at the moment.  It’s an argument between two people who are coming to the end of their relationship, and even though neither of them wants to admit out loud it’s the end, they know.  This is a tough one for me to write because this particular moment – and the dialogue – is semi-autobiographical.  The scene is thick with stinging discomfort and deep-rooted memories of a time I’d rather not stir up in my memory banks.  But…I’m a writer!  If I have to dig up some raw emotions in order to communicate my story, so be it.

As always, I’ve got my music blasting in order to keep my sanity in check and my depression at bay.  Nothing like a little Journey to pull you out of a hole.  : )    When all is said and done, if even just one reader says they got something out of it, this will all be worth it.

Hope you are having a peaceful week!  Love!

Currently listening to:

Lucina Williams “Changed the Locks”

My Chemical Romance “I Don’t Love You”

Miley Cyrus “Adore You”

Journey “Send Her My Love”

Velvet Revolver “Fall to Pieces”

 

 

Loving Your Characters

In the process of my writing over the past few years, I have discovered more and more how much I really, really love developing my characters.  Whether I mention it in my work or not, I create a background story for each of them – examine their childhood, where they came from, what makes them tick.  This is the BEST part of writing for me.  I enjoy this part of the process so much!

I have found that I love it so much, that I often create additional characters, ones that I am not currently needing, and keep them saves in files on my laptop.  These “extras” often have long, intricate back stories loaded with personality flaws, fears, goals, and whatever else they need to make them interesting and to keep me satisfied.  I probably have way more characters than one author will ever need in a lifetime!  Ironically enough, I have yet to use any of these extra characters in any of my current works, most likely because I just keep coming up with new ones (sometimes one or two a week) for the work I am focused on at the moment.

I finally put up Chapter 26 for Canaan’s Promise, and am halfway through 27 at the moment.  Things are about to take a crazy turn soon with Riley  – stay tuned!  I am editing my novel still…this is neverending, but I nevertheless am hoping for a December 2017 release date.  The title has definitely changed, but I am not 100% ready to release that as of yet.  When we get a little closer I will post the cover pic here.  I also have some “just for fun” things I am writing – another Wattpad story which will be up in a month or two (going to try and post all of it at once, or at least half, instead of chapter y chapter), and some fanfiction – my guilty pleasure- which I write in my “down time” to keep me on my toes.

Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend!  Happy Mother’s Day to all of the amazing mommies out there!  ❤

Currently Listening To:

Kid Cudi “Pursuit of Happiness”

Bruce Springsteen “Tougher Than the Rest”

Chris Stapleton “Tennessee Whiskey”

Just an Update

I was dealing with some family stuff and then I came down with a stomach virus that knocked me out for almost a week.  It never seems to end!  So my writing had been put on hold for a little while until I could get back on my feet.  However, I have almost completed the latest chapter of “Canaan’s Promise” and will be posting it to Wattpad by the end of the week, barring any major catastrophes which always seem to come my way lately.

I don’t like not writing (is that even a correct sentence?).  It makes me cranky!

Thanks for hanging in!  Hope you all have a beautiful week!  Peace!

Currently listening to…  Sonder – “Too Fast”

 

Now That You Have My Attention…

Things that fascinate me (in no particular order)…

  • Dolphins.  So smart.  So beautiful.  When you look into their eyes, it’s like they hold the key to the universe.
  • Sitting on the beach and looking out over the seemingly endless ocean.  I know that land begins eventually, but the expanse of the ocean blows my mind.
  • The capability of one single person to either ruin or enlighten your day.  It’s so damn easy.
  • Motorcycle gangs and the whole outlaw culture that goes with it.  I just saw a special with George Christie of Hells Angels and it was fascinating. 0e709f3dc10967a7f75704ceb3669f7c They’ve created their own biker society.
  • The ability some people have to know what makes a person tick.  I have a friend who is so good at reading people.  She can either vouch for their sincerity or call bullshit on them within 5 minutes of meeting them, and she is always 100% correct in the end.  I wish I had that gift.
  • Patience, and anyone who carries it.  Something I am severely lacking in.
  • Good conversationalists.  They are far and few between these days.  Most people just like to hear themselves talk…they don’t care what the other person is saying.
  • The innocence of young children.
  • Those who can put their faith in a higher being and be absolutely sure about it.
  • The stars in the night sky.  I try to stop every night and look at them.  I’m in awe whenever I do.

Currently Listening To…     Sonder “Too Fast”

 

I am jealous…

I have been an envious little bitch these past few days.  There.  I said it.  It’s true!

 

How do people find time to write?  I am really at a loss, especially lately.  Between work and my family and the million other “responsibilities” I have, there has been ZERO time for writing.

And it’s beginning to drag me down.

When I don’t have time to create, I get depressed.  I get moody and anxious.  I get pissed off and bitch, even.  I need that outlet.  I crave it.  And when I don’t have time to do it, well…let’s just say I am not a nice person.

I think I have to take drastic measures.  This weekend, that’s it – I am putting my foot down.  No favors for anyone.  I am not stopping by to bring in your mail, water your flowers or feed your cat.  I can’t show you how to set up your Twitter account or meet your new boyfriend.

I won’t be answering my phone this weekend, so don’t even bother.

I’ll be busy writing.

The Hardest Part About Being a Writer

I have been writing for as long as I can remember.  At age 10 I kept a diary.  In my pre-teen and teenage years, I wrote poems and short stories.  Some of the poems were even published in my high school’s literary journals, but only because it was mandated as part of my English grade.

When I became an adult, I continued with the short stories.  Some of them still remain on disks, hidden away in the back of a desk drawer.  Other unseen works are scribbled out in felt tip pen in various notebooks and binders, stuffed in a box in the back of my closet.  Until I discovered Wattpad last year, I never allowed another soul to read what I had written.  The reason I finally succumbed to sharing my work with the world?

Anonymity.

So now you know.  CC Clark is not my real name.  Sorry for the ruse, folks.  It’s nothing personal.  I don’t mind if someone doesn’t appreciate what I write.  I learned a long time ago, I am not everyone’s cup of tea.  And to be honest, I don’t write for others.  I write to quench the burning need to get these words and sentences and pages and stories out of my head and into print.  I don’t feel normal if I am not creating.  I find myself falling into a rut if I don’t take some time during the week to come up with a character, develop and breathe life into it.

I write for me.  And only me.  And when someone takes the time to drop me a line to say “Hey! I really dig your story!” that’s just icing on the cake.  And a little bit like crack.  LOL.  I can’t get enough of that.  But back to me being all private and under the radar…

The reason for the use of the pen name isn’t because I am afraid someone will call me out by my real name and tell me I’m a shitty writer.  Hell, I can do that myself.  The reason I publish my works anonymously is so the people who know me personally – in particular my closanonymouse friends and relatives – aren’t privy to my works.  It would cripple me if I knew someone close to me read my stories.  A bunch of strangers?  No big deal.  But tell me my mom or my best friend or my co-workers are reading my work and I go into the fetal position.  Being discovered like that is way more intimacy than I can deal with.

In some ways, it’s sad because my family and friends would be thrilled to know that I am writing.  I know in my heart that they would be extremely supportive of my work, whether they enjoyed it or not.  And if they didn’t approve of what I had written, they would never say so.  Really there is no good reason for me to keep this all a secret.  I have a great support group who would stand by me.  And if I ever get this novel finished and release it on Amazon as planned, I know they would be proud of me, whether I sold 100,000 copies, or just one.

I don’t know if I will ever overcome this fear of sharing that part of my life with those I love.  So anonymous I will remain.

For now, anyway.

 

A Little Writing Music…

I am working on the novel today.  So many new ideas!  The creative part of my brain is moving faster than I can type.

In the meantime, these are just a few of the songs on my playlist today as I try to figure this all out.  Enjoy your Saturday!

Currently Listening To:

ZZ Ward “Last Love Song” “All these notes and all these words are all that’s left in me. Bend these pages, count my woes.  One last song to set me free.”

Steve Moakler “Suitcase”  “Everybody wants to chase the rainbow and find a pot of gold, hoping for a suitcase full of money, but all I want is you, honey.”

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers “Walls”  “Some things are over. Some things go on. Part of me you carry. Part of me is gone.”

Everclear “Learning How To Smile”  “Yes I know there ain’t no finish line. I know this never ends but I’m just learning how to fall and climb back up again.”

Jason Aldean “Night Train”   “Got a moon and a billion stars, sound of steel and old boxcars.  The thought of you is driving me insane…”