I haven’t written anything in over a month. Part of the reason, I believe, was that I was going through a mild depression. It didn’t last long, thankfully, and I believe the major cause of it (other than just normal work-related stress) was due to the ungodly cold weather we experienced. Records low temps and major ice and snow storms for weeks on end don’t make for a very happy environment.
But now that is all over with. I am literally “seeing the light” once again (I mean, damn – it was 45 degrees here the other day! A heatwave!). The grey winter skies and my blues have passed. But I still cannot bring myself to pick up the pen. I just sat down a little while ago and went over notes, ideas and various writing prompts I saved on Evernote just for this very reason, but I can’t seem to get those creative juices flowing.
The sad part is, I am beginning now to doubt myself. Can I really do this? And more importantly, do I have any business doing this at all? Am I just pretending to be a writer? Who says I can write anything anyone would be interested in anyway?
One of my favorite authors once said “Self doubt is a death sentence to creativity”. So yeah. There’s that.
Writing a book and having it published has been a lifelong dream of mine. I have written in one form or another most of my life. I am beginning to wonder if I was depressed because I wasn’t writing, instead of the other way around. I’ve always become a little grumpy in the past if I didn’t take time out for some sort of creative outlet.
Do I need to tie myself down to my desk and force myself to write even if I don’t feel like anything good will come of it, or am I just a poser pretending to be a writer? I wish there was some type of self-help book for this (pun intended)!
Currently Listening To: